The Liberating Truth about Marriage

For the longest time in modern history, the notion of marriage has been tied with the idea of permanence and boredom. Terms like “settling down” or “tying down” gives you the impression that you will not be free to roam the surface of the earth for the rest of your lives to do what you thought you’d do. But is this the case?

Freedom in this context is often tied to material desires such as financial freedom, and career successes. The idea of “settling down” is often accompanied by thoughts of building a family and giving birth, affecting career progression and being bogged down by financial woes due to the needs of the new-born.

The truth about marriage isn’t about being bogged down with a stranger for life nor is it about raising children. Rather, marriage is a gift from God that will manifest itself to help us appreciate the unity of God in the Trinity — A unity that will help us appreciate and worship God in a way we will never be able to.

On top of this, freedom in this context also encompasses the desire to continue a self-satisfying lifestyle. People within this category normally believes that marriage denies oneself from the “right” to try different partners till they “find the right one”. They are often fighting with the fear of marrying the “wrong one” and in some cases, they would prefer to cohabit so as to keep their options open, just in case.

Digging deeper into the darker side of the lustful fears of marriage is the fear of being prohibited to continue secretive lifestyles. Such lifestyles range from excessive drinking to frequent visitation of places that promote sexual arousal.

Sure, all of these fears manifest itself in people differently. Each people experiences different struggles and concerns in life and are hard to generalize the way how all of these fears may affect one’s marriage or their idea of marriage. But all of these are beside the point. The truth about it all is that marriage isn’t about being bogged down with the burdens of caring for a stranger for life nor is it about raising children. Rather, marriage is about accountability. Accountability as a gift from God that will manifest itself to help us appreciate the unity of God in the Trinity. A unity that transcends life; a unity that will help us appreciate and worship God in a way we will never be able to.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
— Ephesians 5:25, NIV.

Accountability to God begins with being accountable to one’s wife. Just as how Jesus responded to God for His love for His Church, so must husbands like us answer to God for our love for our wives. Just as how Jesus sought prayed before doing anything for His earthly ministry, so must we as husbands to seek God to guide us on how we should care for our wives. Just as how Christ prayed earnestly for unity with the Church, so must we as husbands seek the Lord to guide us to build a family that is united in heart, body, and soul.

“A marriage in Christ is meant to be an earthly covenant between a man and a woman that will bring them closer to God.”

From this, we see that unity of marriage in Christ meant focusing on the Maker of life in all aspects of marriage, trusting fully that He will fulfil all our needs and desires as He has promised. Unlike the idea of “freedom” that the world is constantly bombarding us with, a Godly marriage in Christ is one that is built on complete obedience and faith in Christ.

No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
— Matthew 6:24, 33, NIV.

I believe there are many resources out there about how we should not serve two masters. You’re either the servant of the Maker of life or the servant of the devil [1]. We know as well that the devil will do all things that will lead us away from God while Jesus is the only way for us to eternal life in Him.

Given this understanding, a marriage in Christ is meant to be an earthly covenant between a man and a woman that will bring them closer to God.

However, the magnitude of this gift is much greater than this. The gift of marriage will enable the couple to experience unprecedented unity in their heart, soul, and body. This gift can only be experienced in a relationship centred upon Christ. The completeness of two persons as one body will only be completed, not by sex only, but by the complete obedience to God to lead a life that is free from earthly concerns.

In this state of marriage, the hearts of two will merge as one, desiring to serve the Lord in a way that the Lord has called them to. Their soul will be joined together in a way that surpasses understanding. And their bodies will be joined in a Holy Consummation that the Lord will be very satisfied with.

“Marriage is not the burdensome ritual that the modern society portrays it to be. Rather, marriage is a gift from God in which one may experience the true Glory of God while on earth.”

No, marriage is not the burdensome ritual that the modern society portrays it to be. Rather, marriage is a gift from God in which one may experience the true Glory of God while on earth. It is not about the ceremony, neither is it about the raising of children. It is, really, about experiencing God in a way you can never experience otherwise.

 

Footnotes:

[1] – In John 8:44, Christ rebuked the Jews saying that they belong to their father — the devil. In this context, “father” also meant “master”. Hence, it can be understood that they were servants of the devil. In 1 Timothy 6:10, Paul taught followers to flee from the love of money because it is the root of all evils. Hence, it can also be understood that Jesus is trying to call His followers to serve God rather than something that will lead them to evil.

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